Women, You Are Not a Temptation
April 1, 2017
We humans tend to construct our own moral universes. We may form one of our own liking or we may be formed into one that has been constructed by others. They very often make sense internally—until some external reality calls it to account.
This week we were given a glimpse into the moral universe of Mike Pence, who avoids being alone with women who are not among members of his family. The practice espoused by Pence, known by some as the “Billy Graham Rule,” is taught by numerous religious leaders and is common to American evangelicals, fundamentalists, as well as like-minded Muslims and Jews.
The notion is that women are such a temptation to men that faithful (heterosexual) men cannot be alone with them lest they give in to temptation. Additionally, to be alone with a woman other than one’s wife, mother, daughter, etc, is to entertain the appearance of evil, which should be avoided as well. The truism, put bluntly, is that if a man is not alone with a woman, he can’t have sex with her.
We find this moral reasoning both unreasonable and immoral. It most certainly is not distinctively Christian.
Most distressing is that it dehumanizes women. By this logic, women are not to be treated as fellow humans but as objects of desire, as objects of temptation, as wiles of the devil with malignant power over males. The Christian Scriptures teach, however, that women are created in God’s image, and that temptation comes from one’s own desires. She is a fellow human being, not a temptation.
By definition, this practice is also discriminatory—often proudly so, in the name of righteousness. Men, if they are “righteous,” claim the right to exclude women. But if a man discriminates in his interactions with all women, how can he function in a society where women are (rightly) recognized as co-equal humans?
In a workplace or a school where discrimination is a matter of injustice, if he chooses never to participate with a woman in private conversation, he denies women the benefit of his knowledge and experience and thus unfairly privileges other men who by happenstance of nature arouse no desire in him.
We might wish this were a hypothetical situation, but too many board rooms, executive suites, and corner offices belie the reality of women’s exclusion—not only by the “righteous” who seek to avoid temptation but also by the powerful who indulge their unrighteous desires. What the two groups share is their view of women as objects of sexual desire rather than human beings created in the image of God.
Beyond the discrimination and dehumanization of women, there is the simple truth that may not have occurred to some men: most women don’t want to have sex with you. When you wax righteous, refusing to meet alone with a woman or have lunch with her or insist on leaving your door open during a confidential conversation with her, the thought of sex with you has in all likelihood never even crossed her mind.
If that doesn’t embarrass you, it should. And surely you don’t believe that, as a male, you can’t control yourself. And surely you aren’t passing on such a degrading idea to your sons. If you are, you dehumanize males as well.
We can’t embrace the pseudo-wisdom of religious teachers who would fence the law, so to speak. Jesus taught that it was the responsibility of the man to avoid lusting after a woman—and his very teaching assumes this is possible. Furthermore, Jesus himself interacted with women as humans, not sexual objects, even when religious leaders criticized him for doing so.
Women, you are not a temptation. Don’t indulge the idea that you are. Men, women are your fellow human beings, created in the image and likeness of God. And we are all called—not to arbitrary rule-making that dehumanizes ourselves and others, but—to the more excellent way of love.
PS – Note this video by Dennis Prager, of “Prager University.” If it makes sense to you, it shouldn’t. His instruction is fallacious.
This week we were given a glimpse into the moral universe of Mike Pence, who avoids being alone with women who are not among members of his family. The practice espoused by Pence, known by some as the “Billy Graham Rule,” is taught by numerous religious leaders and is common to American evangelicals, fundamentalists, as well as like-minded Muslims and Jews.
The notion is that women are such a temptation to men that faithful (heterosexual) men cannot be alone with them lest they give in to temptation. Additionally, to be alone with a woman other than one’s wife, mother, daughter, etc, is to entertain the appearance of evil, which should be avoided as well. The truism, put bluntly, is that if a man is not alone with a woman, he can’t have sex with her.
We find this moral reasoning both unreasonable and immoral. It most certainly is not distinctively Christian.
Most distressing is that it dehumanizes women. By this logic, women are not to be treated as fellow humans but as objects of desire, as objects of temptation, as wiles of the devil with malignant power over males. The Christian Scriptures teach, however, that women are created in God’s image, and that temptation comes from one’s own desires. She is a fellow human being, not a temptation.
By definition, this practice is also discriminatory—often proudly so, in the name of righteousness. Men, if they are “righteous,” claim the right to exclude women. But if a man discriminates in his interactions with all women, how can he function in a society where women are (rightly) recognized as co-equal humans?
In a workplace or a school where discrimination is a matter of injustice, if he chooses never to participate with a woman in private conversation, he denies women the benefit of his knowledge and experience and thus unfairly privileges other men who by happenstance of nature arouse no desire in him.
We might wish this were a hypothetical situation, but too many board rooms, executive suites, and corner offices belie the reality of women’s exclusion—not only by the “righteous” who seek to avoid temptation but also by the powerful who indulge their unrighteous desires. What the two groups share is their view of women as objects of sexual desire rather than human beings created in the image of God.
Beyond the discrimination and dehumanization of women, there is the simple truth that may not have occurred to some men: most women don’t want to have sex with you. When you wax righteous, refusing to meet alone with a woman or have lunch with her or insist on leaving your door open during a confidential conversation with her, the thought of sex with you has in all likelihood never even crossed her mind.
If that doesn’t embarrass you, it should. And surely you don’t believe that, as a male, you can’t control yourself. And surely you aren’t passing on such a degrading idea to your sons. If you are, you dehumanize males as well.
We can’t embrace the pseudo-wisdom of religious teachers who would fence the law, so to speak. Jesus taught that it was the responsibility of the man to avoid lusting after a woman—and his very teaching assumes this is possible. Furthermore, Jesus himself interacted with women as humans, not sexual objects, even when religious leaders criticized him for doing so.
Women, you are not a temptation. Don’t indulge the idea that you are. Men, women are your fellow human beings, created in the image and likeness of God. And we are all called—not to arbitrary rule-making that dehumanizes ourselves and others, but—to the more excellent way of love.
PS – Note this video by Dennis Prager, of “Prager University.” If it makes sense to you, it shouldn’t. His instruction is fallacious.
